Your Ohio State Postgame Survival Guide Is Here!

Flying home to L.A. on Monday, was great to be back in the city I called home for five years. Even with the students gone, Columbus, thanks to Ohio State, is an amazingly vibrant place. Saturday’s atmosphere was the best I’ve experienced at a live event, but it in no way surprised me. I’ve been telling people for well over a decade that Columbus is the best college football town in America. Saturday was the perfect storm. May never happen again like that at the ‘Shoe.

Buckeye Fan Sitting On Cooler On High Street

 (Hard times for Joe Germaine. Hard Times.)

Thanks to still-fresh memories of postgame mayhem in Columbus, Saturday I was just as interested in postgame reaction by Buckeyes fans as I was the game’s outcome, so I hit High Street immediately following USC’s 18-15 victory.

High Street in Columbus After Ohio State USC Game 2009

(Yes! I can (finally) remove my flame retardant suit!)

For the game, Ohio Stadium was a sea of humanity, and High Street was soon after its Nile. The Horsehoe pouring tens of thousands of remarkably-restrained Scarlet and Gray adorned onto the city’s main drag. From postgame to last call, I only saw law-abiding behavior.

Columbus Girls Dancing On Bar After Ohio State USC Game 2009

(Not pictured: Andy Katzenmoyer bouncing door @ Ugly Tuna Saloona)

Check that. Law-abiding where/when I was present.

Columbus Police On Horseback After USC-OSU 2009

(Dude lookin’ to close the deal on patio doesn’t have enough to worry about?)

Of course, with every 100 feet of High street teeming with uniformed law enforcement - along with dozens of cruisers and horse-mounted patrols fanned across campus, that probably isn’t a coincidence. Nevertheless, I was impressed at the impeccable behavior, save a stray DJ at McFadden’s Pub.

Columbus Dispatch Beer Bong Coverage

(Shanahan might reconsider Orton’s Cincy security detail next time)

Remarkable when you consider that the culture of alcohol-fueled football fandom can’t possibly be more prevalent anywhere in America than Columbus. To wit, this video of a tailgaters “25-foot-long beer bong” on linked on the front page of the venerable COLUMBUS DISPATCH.

Columbus Dispatch Beer Bong Coverage

(Way too much effort put into heds)

The Dispatch certainly knows its audience, but I am a little surprised to see what was once such a conservative publication slot its “Big Beer Bong” feature adjacent to Jim Tressel’s postgame media address. 

So for one glorious weekend, it was great to get back to Columbus. To reacquaint with the six-car-flag-flying fan who still thinks Charlie Baumann was sent by Satan.

Ohio State USC Game 2009 Car with six OSU car flags

To remind of the majesty that is America’s most debaucherous cream puffs, at Schmidt’s in Columbus’ German Village.

Schmidt's Sausage Haus In Columbus

And to the confirm the absolute truth known only to the depths of my soul:

Ohio State Fans Before Ohio State USC game 2009

Sure as hell would’ve have seen me here in November.