Your Official World Cup Team-Branded ‘Stab Vest’

I’ve honestly been debating whether I want to attend the World Cup this summer in South Africa. Like many of you, I’m a little concerned about how safe the country will be considering the nation’s reputation for civil unrest.

World Cup Stab Vests

(22 hours in Coach to Cape Town just got a lot easier)

But those fears have now been calmed thanks to this handy piece of sports merchandise: a team-branded ’stab vest’:

Order a PROTEKTORVEST with your team colours. We have all 32 Team Badges available and many more. Add unqiue messages to your vest! PROTEKTORVEST.COM os the No. 1 in personal protection cloting for the world cup 2010.

The official stab vest of the World Cup. Thanks for that.

But that’s not all, thanks to your team-branded stab vest, you can also connect on Facebook with other people who wear team-branded stab vests.

Connect on Facebook with stab vest friends

(Country selection completely random)

Tempting.

Thing I like best about this concept is that it in no way would increase the chance of you becoming an undue target of random violence. Goes without saying that proudly and prominently wearing an England-branded stab vest outside a South African Stadium during the World Cup will no doubt give the tens of thousands of drunken hooligans in immediate proximity absolute pause before causing you harm.

And the fact that, “PROTEKTORVEST will donate $1 per order to charities fighting against knife crime.

I’ve been writing off my knife crime charitable contributions for years. Now’s your chance.

That middle seat to Pretoria just got a lot comfier. Thanks PROTEKTORVEST!

Now pardon me while I strap on my Lane Kiffin mask, replete with USC visor, for a midnight day elevator ride in the UT freshman dorm.