Remember when the NBA had a reliable stable of guys who looked like they didn’t belong? The gangly, balding dudes who are your nemesis at the YMCA? You know, they don’t really have much game but they’ve got some goofy up-and-under move that you can never stop and they always seem to find every loose ball even though they’re about as agile as Stephen Hawking.
Luckily, there’s still one guy carrying that torch in the NBA, complete with the dual knee braces and everything. That’s right, according to the brilliant NBA blog THE BLOWTORCH, your Dad is playing for the Minnesota Timberwolves.
“Dad,” in this case, is the incomparable Brian Cardinal, who looked to be roughly the same age as Gene Keady when he graduated from Purdue. Which makes it all the more shocking to learn that he’s only 31. And Cardinal, he of the 5.8 career points-per-game average and 41% FG shooting, is making $6.3 million to be the 10th man on a crappy team. What a country.
And dude, your DAD was playing for the Timberwolves. Yeah, seriously, your dad.
I’m sure it was him. He was bald but had that little bit of side hair like Scott Skiles and the flesh-colored beard. It had to have been your dad. You said he’s been able to get back in the gym after the heart thing, right? Yeah, I thought so. It was definitely him. He had the knee braces on and everything.
Oh, and he was doing all those old man moves, like hooking guys when he spins down low and shooting that fade-away from the left block that he loves so much. And he was throwing all kinds of backdoor passes.
With all due respect to Cardinal, he’s got nothing on the patron saint of NBA “dads”. I mean, seriously, Benoit Benjamin looks embarrassed to be guarding this guy: