Your Bonnaroo Correspondent Is, Um, Sean Avery

Hey brah! We’re at Bonnaroo! Sick lineup, man. Siiiiick. It’s so awesome to sit in lava-hot sunshine with 73,000% humidity and enough drugs to fly to Mars. WILCOOOOOOOO!!

Sean Avery
(Yep, he’s dressed perfectly for the festival.)

Wait a second, homeskizzle. Who’s that I see over there? Maybe it’s the drugs talking, but I think I see… Amelia Earhart! Ha ha, no way man! Wait a second, that probably is the drugs, because she’s riding an horned ostrich made of fire. I’m so high. But wait, who’s that then? Broheimer, I think I see Sean Avery. And it’s not the drugs talking! What the hell is Sean Avery doing at Bonnaroo?

Now there’s word that he’ll be a field reporter at the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival starting Thursday for FUSE TV, interviewing musicians and fans at the Manchester, Tennessee site…

He’s also on the guest list for next week’s Samsung’s 8th annual Four Seasons of Hope charity gala, along with Regis Philbin, musicians, soap opera stars and a handful of Jets and Giants.

Whoooooaaaaooohhh. Where did that guy from the BLUE NOTES blog come from to tell us all that useful, important information? These drugs are so awesome!

Aw wait a second, I read it on the internet. And we’re not at Bonnaroo, because it’s like a month away. Oh, this is weird. And I should totally start laying off the drugs a bit. Peace out, brah. Amelia just offered me an ostrichride to her secret lair. I’m tripping balls.