Robert Correia of Falmouth, MA, sent a message to New York Yankees fans on the Fourth of July when he gathered together his closest mob violence buddies and surrounded a car trapped in traffic after Fourth fireworks in Falmouth, vandalizing the car and beating the driver about the head and body with a baseball bat. Not in our house! Do not bring that weak sauce in here!

The composition of that weak sauce? Having Yankees license plates. Not in Massachusetts, bro! This is our house! We must defend our house! Or else… other people not from our house will see our fireworks! That’s not cool, bro! That’s why I have to bring a baseball bat to the fireworks show. They’re everywhere, man!

Correia will be charged with various felonies; the driver was not seriously hurt, though the children in the car are likely scarred for life. More people could be arrested shortly. And what have we been telling you all week? Be careful around fireworks. Now will you listen?