Yankees 15, Red Sox 9; The Galaxy Actually Cares

The game was drawn out longer than Kevin Costner’s “The Postman,” but the budget was higher and featured a better script, even though it didn’t have one. New York’s 15-9 win over their Bostonian counterparts in the first of a quick little two-game series was, as begrudging as it is to admit as a non-New Englander, entertaining.

Yankees-Red Sox first pitch from space

(The first pitch was thrown from space by Dr. Garrett Reisman. Because of this, the game was delayed three light years to wait for the baseball’s re-entry and parachute landing somewhere over the Mariana Trench.)

Fourteen runs were scored in 1½ innings between the two teams, effectively hurting the feelings and ERA of both starters, Clay Buchholz and Chien-Ming Wang. But the Yankee bullpen only allowed one run after Wang’s departure, while the Red Sox pen was far more generous. Every Yankee scored at least one run, and only Hideki Matsui failed to drive in a run.

In some other games last night…

Detroit TP’s Cleveland, 13-2 — For the first time since the third day of the season, the Detroit Tigers are no longer tied for last place in the American League. On the wave of a three-game winning streak, they now move to 5-10, tied with … those very Indians they just tomahawked into oblivion on Wednesday night. And who thought that a matchup of reigning Cy Young winner C.C. Sabathia and just-called-up-from-AAA Armando Galarraga would result in the latter going 6 2/3 innings, allowing just one run and one hit, while the former’s ERA swelling up to 13.50? Sabathia’s no longer resembling a highly coveted free agent pitcher next year, just Rich Garces with a bigger bank account.

On the offensive side, Miguel Cabrera had 5 RBI for Detroit, while Edgar Renteria provided a grand slam. And this was Galarraga’s first career win at the major league level. Somebody get him a fudge sundae.

Toronto Messes w/ Texas, Loses In 14 — But since the game was in Canada, it was 13.957 centi-innings. In a game nobody wanted to actually win (33 left on base combined for both teams), the Texas Rangers broke a scoreless 5-5 game in the 14th inning and rolled forth to victory 7-5.

As silly as the game was, how the run scored was merely the icing on the crazy. Toronto manager John Gibbons exhausted his bullpen, much like expending all the nacho cheese on three chips (you gotta conserve that stuff, bro), so he put the ball in starting pitcher A.J. Burnett’s hands for the 14th inning. With a runner on third, Burnett’s wild pitch enabled Frank Catalanotto to score. Frank the Cat went 3-for-7 while scoring thrice, but the line of the night goes to gaming enthusiast Milton Bradley went 2-for-3 with five walks. Of all the games tonight, the Rangers probably earned the most satisfying win in this entirely-too-long battle, since it snapped a five-game losing streak.

All the teams play each other again Thursday night, and then the baseball season will go on hiatus and resume July 3, when the Red Sox and Yankees play again.