Yankee Stadium To Be Blessed By Joel Osteen?

As if we needed more proof that the New York Yankees aren’t going to do anything second-rate, word now comes that there’s going to be a full-scale blessing performed at the new Yankee Stadium by finely-coiffed super-preacher Joel Osteen.

Joel Osteen

(”Cody Ransom? You guys need more help than I thought.”)

And it won’t just be before a game. No, there’s going to be an entire evening hosted by Osteen and his wife Victoria called “Historic Night of Hope.” And given how things are going these days, hope is needed in the Bronx now more than ever. I mean, CC Sabathia just got shelled for 6 runs in 4 1/3 innings in his Yankee debut.

NY1 has the news of the arrival of Osteen and his perm of mass destruction:

“We’re excited about doing it,” said Osteen during an interview with NY1’s Dean Meminger. “Our goal is just to lift people’s spirits. There is a lot of things pulling people down these days, just with the economy and life in general. We feel like our message is just to inspire people that there are good days ahead. That we can rise up against difficulty and that God has a plan for our lives.”

So far, God looks like he’s trying to tell Sabathia that he’s not pitching in the NL Central anymore.

All this, of course, is just another way for the Yankees to prove how superior they are to the cross-town rival Mets. For Citifield’s blessing, the Mets are stuck deciding between Ted Haggard, Bernie Madoff, and Fran Drescher.

And who knew that Victoria Osteen would be the first Rusty Hardin client to show up at the new Yankee Stadium? Hardin, who of course is best known for being Roger Clemens‘ lawyer, defended Osteen last year against charges that she assaulted a flight attendant in 2005.