WWE Diva Has Fake Breasts. Well, Breast, Anyway

You’ll probably remember - because honestly, who can forget something this ridiculous - the fiasco this January when a Rock of Love retired stripper contestant burst a breast implant while tooling around on a hockey rink to win Bret Michaels‘ love. No, it doesn’t make sense.

Mickie James WWE
(As you can see, this young woman clearly has complete disregard for implants. That’s what she’s tossing around, right?)

So let’s shift gears to the world of professional wrestling and one Mickie James. Yes, you can probably already see exactly where this one’s going, but we’re plugging ahead anyway, damn it. Ms. James is a a “WWE Diva,” which means she gets to run around and pretend to catfight other women. But since the WWE has a much more casual approach to implants than, say, boxing, there are certain hazards to the job. Yes, evidently, that involves popping your fake breasts.

According to WRESTLINGINC.COM, James did exactly that in a recent match–then totally ran around as her chest sprayed silicone on everybody, blinding them in a chaotic mess of horror andokay, that second part didn’t actually happen at all:

As reported earlier today, Mickie James peculiarly missed Sunday night’s Raw brand house show in Madison, Wisconsin after competing the two previous nights in St. Paul, Minnesota and Sioux Falls, South Dakota. She was also not used during Monday’s Raw taping in Chicago. Partnering with Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly took her place in a tag match on Sunday. This should be taken with a grain of salt, but a person from the Richmond area claiming to have known James for over ten years e-mailed us to say that she busted one of her breast implants in a tag match with Rosa Mendes (and Beth Phoenix) over the weekend.

A “grain of salt,” WWE? Like silicone salt? We knew it! The secret’s out.

Frankly, her departure isn’t very momentous, if only because the ladywrestling is an awfully weak link in the WWE chain. They’re all quite nice to look at, and we’re sure they’re very athletic, and yes, look at that lady whip her legs around. Plus, one time we saw a match where a lady beat her opponent’s head with her own foot, and that was some of the funniest stuff we’ve ever seen.

But just like we don’t enjoy watching regular athletes do something like bowling - remember that show on ESPN? No? Us neither - we’re not sure that making these ladies wrestle each other is the smartest move. Can’t they do something else? Like… anything else? They seem to enjoy posing with not a lot of clothes on. Let’s let them do that.