Nude Mannequins? Nomar Fans? Must Be Wrigley

We stole away Tuesday from our responsibilities as working adults to take in a game at Wrigley Field for the first time this season. As proof that we were away from our desk for a few hours, we have submitted receipts for sunscreen purchases and this photo of the celebration after Ronny Cedeño’s grand slam:

Ronny Cedeño grand slam

(Aww, grumpy Mets fans who spent too much for their home plate seats)

The Cubs’ 8-1 victory seemed pre-determined when Nelson Figueroa simply did not possess ‘it’ early on. However, after a long weekend of bullpen abuse and a similar beatdown by the Cubs Monday, Willie Randolph could only hold his hands over his eyes until Figueroa could get at least five innings of work complete before running out four more relievers.

While our main focus for the day was to ascertain the state of various stories covered recently in this space, we do have a couple quick notes:

  • Ryan Theriot jerseys continue to be hugely popular. Considering Theriot’s back problems and Cedeño’s improved play, we hope the Zell-run Cubs don’t choose poorly between the merchandise mover and the better player.
  • For everyone that’s asked after seeing the game, yes. Yes, Ronny Cedeño is that small.
  • Having tickets and enough money for an impressive stack of beer cups at the end of the game does not equate a God-given right to rant for three hours at an impressive decibel level about the sad state of your life. (On the other hand, we won’t be able to hear Joe Morgan anymore.)
  • We have been Cubs fans as long as we’ve had sentient thought, but we too find many Cubs fans to be downright annoying. Case in point: the park didn’t fill until the fourth inning for a 1:20 pm start and began emptying in the eighth after Cedeño’s homer. We kept looking out past the bleachers and expecting to see the Los Angeles skyline.

And now checking in on previous stories… first, the Ernie Banks statue is still fixed, but you can see that the apostrophe looks rather meager from any kind of angle. It’s an unimpressive punctuation mark on all levels.

Ernie Banks statue

Next, this attractive little bit of dickweedery has disappeared from vendors within a three-block radius of Wrigley:

Cubs fans racist shirt

However, we felt it useful to note that the design came from another popular shirt around Wrigley:

Harry Caray Cubs shirt

But this is the most popular shirt of the day for Cubs fans:

Fukudome Is My Homie T-shirt

Finally, we will wrap up with various bits of consumerism we felt summed up the day best:

Cubs fan in Nomar Garciaparra shirt

(Some people never let go)

Cubs fans waving flag

(We love the introduction of more international celebrations into baseball; we hope to see streamers and toilet paper on the field after Cedeño’s next grand slam in 2013)

Cubs vendors encourage lewdness

(This just seems fitting somehow)

Shut Up and Drink Your Milk T-shirt

(”Shut Up and Drink Your Milk”, which we’ve chosen to believe is a witty pop culture pastiche of Burgess, goat anatomy, and local sports lore instead of the shirt a kid will wear to his first beating in the schoolyard)