Would Somebody Please Go Find The QB’s Teeth?

As this weekend’s college football action proved, the gap is diminishing - in small increments, but still diminishing - between I-A and I-AA in terms of quality. Two ACC teams were taken down by I-AA opponents, and it took the first double-kick-block in Division I history for #21 Iowa to escape Northern Iowa.

Vontaze Burfict vs. Russell Hill
(This seems totally fair.)

But one of the casualties of a stronger I-AA is that we don’t get to see the plays where a I-A team absolutely annihilates their opponent, to the point that you actually start to feel sorry for their cupcake of choice. There wasn’t a whole lot of that punishing kind of play yesterday. Oh, what’s that, Sun Devils LB Vontaze Burfict? You’d like to hit a poor quarterback so hard his cleats end up in the stands? Well then, by all means, don’t let us stop you. Video is below.

(Found via DR. SATURDAY)

Ah yes, that’ll do quite nicely. We’ll just watch this some more for four hours straight if you don’t mind, because it absolutely does not get old.

If you’re wondering, Burfict is a terrordaemon who struggled with academics before qualifying at the last minute for Arizona State. The Sun Devils, remember, are coached by Dennis Erickson, who’s just an outstanding man of character who never, ever leads his teams to sanctions, except for this one time called ALWAYS.

But as long as the NCAA and ASU both agree that Burfict is eligible, then he will still be knocking the numbers off of hapless cupcakes until the NFL comes calling. Thank you, Mr. Burfict, for bringing some sense of order and sanity to college football. And our condolences to ISU quarterback Russell Hill’s family; Hill will be sorely missed.