World’s Fastest Man Adopts World’s Fastest Pet

While visiting Kenya this week, world champion Olympic sprinter Usain Bolt adopted a baby cheetah. I applaud this cosmic symmetry, and wish it could be repeated throughout the sporting world: Charles Barkley could adopt a baby water buffalo, for instance. Hank Steinbrenner a jackass. And so on.

Usain Bolt

“During his trip, he has already impressed local children with his football skills, and become an honorary Maasai warrior.” It’s like I have a twin! If you’d like to see a split-screen video of Bolt and a cheetah racing each other, with a title graphic that’s spelled “Battle of the Mammels,” you’re in luck. It’s following the jump.

Bolt is helping to launch a conservation campaign run by German charity the Zeitz Foundation (run by Jochen Zeitz, CEO of Puma). Called The Long Run, it will promote ecologically conservation and the peaceful coexistence of different cultures.

Bolt was accompanied by Welsh hurdler Colin Jackson who adopted an eland, and Kenyan Prime Minister Raila Odinga who has previously adopted two lions.

Odinga used the occasion to remind Kenyans that it was their “civic duty” to preserve the country’s diverse wildlife, not just for tourism, but for future generations.

Result: Usain Bolt (human): 9.58s;  Sarah (cheetah): 6.13s. Although to be fair, Bolt wasn’t allowed to chase that little mousy thing on a wire.

By the way, if you were wondering what an eland is, here ya go:

I assume when they said that Jackson adopted it, that means he’ll simply be sponsoring its care and feeding from afar. “Sir, I’m afraid you’re only allowed one carry-on bag. And is that an eland? He may have to travel in coach.”