Special surprise for you, but only if you meet the following qualifications:
1) Internet down after ISP found your porn torrent with Pete Townshend?
2) Intercepted grandma’s $500 social security check?
3) Haven’t had a date since comedian Richard Lewis was relevant?
4) One of the 47 Phoenix Coyotes fans who are current with the I.R.S.?
5) Less than three outstanding warrants for your arrest? (Five if Canadian.)
6) Sheriff Joe Arpaio can ID you on piercings alone?
7) Have Cotton Fitzsimmons gallstones stored in your fridge?
Can hotwire breathalyzer ignition device w/out Leyritz’s assistance?
9) Know number of times Jerry Colangelo has undergone angioplasty?
10) Reported a Tiger Woods sighting to your local media?
If you fulfill the above criteria, go ahead and blow your brains out peruse this unlawful solicitation offer:
Though I’m virtually certain the ad won’t soon be deleted, I’ve transcribed the highlights. (For legally non-binding, entertainment purposes only.)
Hi I am seen in Hustler’s barely Legal 100 and other fine adult films. I recently attended a Cardinals playoff game with a happy football fan and now you have the chance to take me to see the Rangers Saturday night to play against our Phoenix Coyotes.
I have two lower level seats (one for me one for you) and for $500 we will both go and have a great time. Hit me up with your phone number by replying to this posting so that I can make the necessary arrangements. First fan gets to have me and since there is only one of me don’t wait.
Nothing new. Like every other NHL arena, there’s always plenty of Johns at the game.
2:33 pm on January 30th, 2010
good lord…I live in PHX. Give me this girl’s email, ASAP!
2:45 pm on January 30th, 2010
Come on, $500 for a Rangers game? maybe she’ll press the glass.
3:54 pm on January 30th, 2010
Nice. But, if I pay $500, I want that busty Saints fan.
4:27 pm on January 30th, 2010
I would hit that.
5:39 pm on January 30th, 2010
if it was GIANNA Michaels i would pay that in 1 second
6:22 pm on January 30th, 2010
I think I’m more interested since finding out her nickname is “Shotgun Katie”.
7:25 pm on January 30th, 2010
What matty said….
8:35 pm on January 30th, 2010
First of all…”I would hit that.” is just a retarded retarded just…so f*cking retarded thing to say it hurts my head. Internet manhood compliance? Check. Thanks for clearing up the gray area if she’s attractive captain!
Secondly, the best line in that ad has to be “First fan gets to have me and since there is only one of me don’t wait.” whereas we’re led to believe she has not yet perfected her cloning chambers so we just have to believe her that there is, in fact, only one of her.
9:21 pm on January 30th, 2010
It looks like a PR viral stunt by Jobbing.com…IMO
9:55 pm on January 30th, 2010
gets to “have” me……..
11:15 am on January 31st, 2010
Seen her in action in the same movie that pic on the table is from…uh, she ain’t worth no where near $500, maybe a hundy if she okays the back door…
3:19 pm on January 31st, 2010
I would wax dat ass
10:29 pm on January 31st, 2010
Well, at least the Coyotes won the shot-out. Didn’t see Katie in the highlights, yawn…