When I was a little kid, I wanted to be the first person in history to hit 100 home runs with the Chicago White Sox, throw 100 touchdowns with the Chicago Bears, and average 50 points a game for the Chicago Bulls all in one season. Oh, and I wanted to be an astronaut and cure cancer too. As I grew up, of course, it became pretty obvious that the dream just wasn’t going to come true.
It’s the same thing that the overwhelming majority of people experience in their lives as adulthood comes on and the real world crushes their hopes and dreams. For some people, though, it’s just impossible to let go. That’s the case for 33-year old Wisconsin woman Wendy Brown, who always wanted to be a cheerleader growing up. Unfortunately for Wendy, it never happened, but she never gave up hope. Which is why she stole her teenage daughter’s identity and enrolled in high school this fall.
Wendy Brown, of Green Bay, faces a felony identity theft charge after enrolling in Ashwaubenon High School as her 15-year-old daughter, who lives in Nevada with Brown’s mother.
“The defendant stated she wanted to get her high school degree and be a cheerleader because she had no childhood and was trying to regain a part of her life she missed,” according to the complaint.
She allegedly attended cheerleading practices before school started, received a cheerleader’s locker and went to a pool party at the cheerleading coach’s house.
Yep, that’s right. The same people we trust to give our children an education can’t tell the difference between a 15-year old girl and a 33-year old crazy woman. The next thing you know, John McCain will be leading a high school football team to a state championship this fall.
What’s incredible is the only reason the school was able to find out something was wrong was when Brown stopped showing up for school after the first day of class, and tried to get in contact with her. After doing some investigating they soon discovered that Brown’s daughter was actually enrolled at in Pahrump Valley High School in Pahrump, Nevada.
This isn’t Wendy’s first offense, either. She’s had a history of identity theft complaints filed against her, and faces up to six years in prison and a $10,000 fine if found guilty. Which she is. Now, if you don’t mind me, I’m going to go get to work on my childhood dreams by trying to sign up for Little League and Pee-Wee Football.