When I think authentic Mexican food, one name comes to mind: Mike Ditka. So thank God that the Bears legend has decided to branch his food and drink empire out from steaks and wine to include salsa. RACHELLEB.COM asks the question “Would You Buy Mike Ditka’s Salsa?” - but I answer with a question of my own: Why wouldn’t you buy Mike Ditka’s salsa?

A quick reading of the Mike Ditka’s Hall of Fame Salsa home page gives you all the reason you need to run down to Costco and stock up by the palette. I’ll let the Coach himself tell you just how much effort went into making it:

“As “Da Coach”, I wanted a truly authentic-tasting salsa with no gimmicks. I called the team together and we came up with a recipe born in Mexico over 100 years ago.”

I’m glad that he and his team could “invent” a recipe that’s 100 years old. Apparently the Mike Ditka Foods team has access to some sort of culinary time machine that allows them to transport back to the 1890s to convince confused Mexicans to use their new, “futuristic” salsa recipe instead of the one handed down from the Mayans. But I do like that they are keeping it authentic with the flavors, including “Mild,” “Tequila,” “Hot!” and “Mustache Trimmings” (aka Coach Ditka’s Secret Recipe).

If you’re, say, an NFL quarterback who looks to be out of a job soon, and you like just hanging out and watching the games with your friends, this might be the perfect compliment to your signature line of sausages. Or it might taste like paint chips - actually, probably the latter.

All jokes aside, proceeds are going to benefit the Gridiron Greats Assistance Fund, which supports ex-players who need more help than what their NFLPA pension provides. And I trust this salsa more so than at ex-NFL kicker Tony Zendejas’ Mexican restaurant in Southern California, which is actually pretty good if you ignore the alleged secret ingredient - roofies (allegedly the same as in his signature drinks!)