Who Killed Kelly? Why, It’s Fukudome, Of Course!

When your team’s doing exceptionally well, you’re pretty sure that even two other teams put together can’t defeat them.  In this case, Cubs fans are justified in their cockiness.  Sure, they dropped two in a row to the Phillies, but who can blame them losing to Jamie Moyer?  He’s the age of two young men strapped together.

Beverly Hills 90210

No, when the Cubs play the Astros Tuesday, they will show a might that only every other major network and numerous Spanish language networks have displayed: the ability to defeat the combined forces of The WB and UPN, now known as The CW.  How?  By bumping the “refreshed” “90210″ from its highly-promoted start time to 10:30 pm.  Assuming there’s no extra innings.

“90210″, aside from being the main summer obsession of America’s most beloved MIA columnist,  has become one of the last hopes for the stumbling CW.  However, Sam Zell and the Tribune Co. have other fish to fry.

For one, they’ve got WGN America.  It currently possesses the unique ability to both blow and suck simultaneously, but at least they own it outright.  Also, it’s got room to grow.

Also, they own the Cubs and isn’t it worth noting to propsective buyers that the Cubs are more important than a last gasp by a dying pseudo-network?  (Of course, it has the handy attribute of truth, but it’s nice to remind rich people of the truth occasionally.)

The CW also needs WGN more than WGN needs it; the Tribune Co. owns most of the largest markets for The CW.  WGN would obviously prefer to see it succeed, but Sam’s always been a big believer in the quick buck.  And the slow buck.  And all the bucks.  Please send all your bucks to Samuel Zell, c/o Tribune Tower.

So “90210″ will sink in the ratings without the nostalgic assistance of Chicagoans (because 10:30 is past old people’s bedtimes) and the Cubs will continue to plow to the playoffs and a handy payoff when they’re sold after the season.  We will consider this payback for the demise of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”.  Oh, and “Homeboys in Outer Space”.