Who Are These Random Kids In Cole Hamels’ Bed?

Apparently when one reaches Cole Hamels‘ level of wealth and celebrity, one can afford not only luxury apartment accommodations, but also a hot wife and rented children. Or are they leased?

Cole Hamels

The Residences at Two Liberty Place is not only an apartment, it’s a community. Kids from other units can come over at all hours and just hop into bed with Hamels and his wife, Heidi Strobel, and get autographs or have thumb wars or whatever. Although the conversation inevitably strays toward Heidi’s fifth-place finish on the sixth season of “Survivor.”

Did you really take off all your clothes for an Oreo and peanut butter cookie, Mrs. Hamels?” (All laugh, as seen in photo).

Hey, what the … ? We don’t own a dog …

Although they’ve got a little moppet on the way (see below), the Hamels, as far as I know, are currently childless. But that’s not the most disturbing feature of this ad, in the current issue of PhillyMag. Since moving to The Residences (yes, he really lives there), Hamels has, sadly, gone metrosexual:

Cole Hamels

Of course we all saw this coming several months ago.

Cole Hamels on Letterman

And so we see what happens when a media-savvy former reality contestant gets her hands on a sports star. Can a man purse be far behind?

(Sad William Penn statue looks into Hamels’ bedroom window and sheds a tear)