A few years ago a group of friends and I all bought season tickets to the Chicago Bears. Every Sunday morning when the Bears were playing at home, we’d get down to Soldier Field at around 8AM and begin our tailgating celebration. Now considering that none of us are the greatest cooks, we generally just focused on drinking as many beers as possible before going into the stadium. Then as game time approached, we’d all stuff around five or six beers into our pockets or pant legs to sneak into Soldier Field. We never got busted, as they didn’t really search all that hard.
“They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our BOOOOOOOZE! What? They did? Son of a…”
In recent years, this has changed. Security at Soldier Field conducts a search that ends just shy of an anal probe, so sneaking in beer has become nearly impossible. I never understood this because even though there were a ton of drunk people inside the stadium, it’s not like we were rioting or anything. Everyone knows that riots are limited to soccer and that you need around 240 gallons of alcohol to approach rioting status.
From the EVENING TIMES:
MORE than 240 gallons of booze was seized from Tartan Army fans before Scotland’s World Cup qualifier at Hampden on Saturday.
British Transport Police confiscated more than half of the alcohol from fans as they made their way to the Norway game.
Warnings had been issued before the game in a bid to clamp down on drink-fuelled anti-social behaviour.
That, my friends, is a lot of booze. What I don’t get is why soccer fans will start a riot when their team loses, but they’re totally cool with having their alcohol taken away from them. Much like the people of Ohio, Scots need to get their priorities in order.
4:21 pm on October 14th, 2008
Scotsmen are anti-social drunks? I find that hard to believe.
4:33 pm on October 14th, 2008
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are sitting in a bar. Suddenly, a fly dives into each of their beers. The Englishman says, "Barkeep, a fly just dove into my beer. Bring me another one." The Irishman says, "Ah, to hell with it," and takes the fly out, and drinks the beer. The Scotsman pulls the fly out of his beer, shakes it up and down, and screams, "Spit it out, you bastard!"
4:34 pm on October 14th, 2008
240 gallons? Is that all?
4:38 pm on October 14th, 2008
Fortunately, the haggis remained untouched.
5:26 pm on October 14th, 2008
As all haggis should be.
5:30 pm on October 14th, 2008
I sneak booze into stadiums all the time - usually in my stomach after downing a 6-pack or two.
5:48 pm on October 14th, 2008
What the hell is haggis? Isn't that sheep guts cooked in a sheep's stomach? Sounds delicious….barf!
5:54 pm on October 14th, 2008
You'd need to consume 240 gallons of booze, too, if your team misses shots like these:
http://sportsbybrooks.com/just-about-the-worst-soccer-shot-ever-seen-20384
6:10 pm on October 14th, 2008
I knew Scottish people liked to drink, but wow.
6:13 pm on October 14th, 2008
so what happened to all the confiscated alcohol? i'll gladly take it off their hands.
8:18 pm on October 14th, 2008
I'm shocked there weren't any riots over the alcohol confiscation, never mind the game.