One of my friends is a 300 lb. behemoth who loves hot wings, NASCAR and Oklahoma football. So I was shocked to find out that he was also a college cheerleader: Clearly, he doesn’t fit into what you think of as the typical male cheerleader. But when I asked him about it, his answer was simple yet brilliant: He got to hang out with hot cheerleaders every day and get very physical with them.
So perhaps the recent movie “Fired Up” had it right when they portrayed male cheerleading as the way for smart, straight men to have a lot of contact with cheerleaders. But while this might be true in some cases, it’s hard to get away from the other stereotypes about male cheerleaders, especially when I see the profile of “David,” the only male member of the Washington Capitals Red Rockers spirit squad.
As BARSTOOL SPORTS points out, he does list very macho interests on his bio at the Capitals home page, such as fantasy sports, fishing and rock concerts. And the guy likes cheese sticks. But then you look at the photo accompanying his bio, and it seems almost impossible that someone that well dressed could like cheese sticks. He seems more likely to have been David Fisher’s choir partner on “Six Feet Under” than a hockey fan:
(Plus, he lists his college fraternity in his bio, which poses more issues: Sure, he probably drank a lot of beer, but he also probably was paddled on his butt a lot.)
At the end of the day, I just keep coming back to the shirt he has to wear as a member of the Red Rockers, and thinking that no self-respecting straight man could be made to put on something that garish and skin-tight: even Jake Shears from The Scissor Sisters thinks that’s “too gay.” Nothing is worth that humiliation.
On second thought, I think I have a knitting group to go to. Toodles!
7:40 pm on April 30th, 2009
At least you didn't call him a fag. I guess you are better than Dana White after all.
2:53 am on May 1st, 2009
You wrote this post and expect us to believe you have friends?
10:50 am on May 1st, 2009
Seriously…have you seen the Red Rockers up close…they are some very attractive young ladies. Dave's a lucky guy to hang around Verizon Center with them…while, with every squad there's a chubby or two…the Caps did a good job for the first year of having a cheer squad!! Danielle is just hot…
2:34 pm on May 4th, 2009
I'm gay and I think Dave is rocking out with is cock out! Go caps!
2:57 pm on May 4th, 2009
I was Dave's lover in college. JUST KIDDING! I guess he googled Dave cheerleader or something because he keeps finding numerous blogs about him. He isn't allowed to comment based on his contract, so I guess I will "defend his honor," or what have you.
Dave is not gay, I mean not even give a handjob to keep the orgy moving along smoothly gay. In fact, he's probably too straight to even joke about being gay, which is unfortunate, because I talk in a lisp all day- just do it, isn't it fun? Say Cheeesttthiiitssss (Cheez-Its). I mean if it weren't for the hemorroids (just kidding pitchers, and well, catchers- sike) and people wanting to kill you I'd make a killing in the gay community, as I do squats and deadlifts amongst other manly non-Men's fitness routine of the month workouts (in other words I have a fantastic ass). Also I like b-obs and v-gina- despite the costs associated with each.
Ok, so any way, Dave did this for fun and to get free Chipotle, to catch some free hockey games, to get out of his house full of random roommates, and to meet new people- as a side effect new women. It's hard to set up shop in a new city, and he found a decent way to go at it. He isn't nearly as Machiavellian as I am, so I doubt he used this as an opportunity to get in anyone's pants (which is unfortunate).
I had the opportunity to meet some of these ladies at his birthday and they were all pretty chill, if not gorgeous as well. He's also playing this smart for the long run- instead of trying with one of these girls and ruining everything- he's becoming their friend, which ensures: 1) that they trust him and will set him up with one of their friends, albeit probably one of their still hot, but not as hot ones, 2) they come around often for his former fraternity brothers to take home at last call.
So you see, Dave is a team player, just don't expect him to fluff you at the next orgy.
4:33 pm on May 8th, 2009
this is way to funny for me…
10:36 pm on October 23rd, 2009
Sorry, but judging by his pose, he is definitely gay.