What’s Up With That Male Capitals Cheerleader?

One of my friends is a 300 lb. behemoth who loves hot wings, NASCAR and Oklahoma football. So I was shocked to find out that he was also a college cheerleader: Clearly, he doesn’t fit into what you think of as the typical male cheerleader. But when I asked him about it, his answer was simple yet brilliant: He got to hang out with hot cheerleaders every day and get very physical with them.

Red Rocker David

So perhaps the recent movie “Fired Up” had it right when they portrayed male cheerleading as the way for smart, straight men to have a lot of contact with cheerleaders. But while this might be true in some cases, it’s hard to get away from the other stereotypes about male cheerleaders, especially when I see the profile of “David,” the only male member of the Washington Capitals Red Rockers spirit squad.

As BARSTOOL SPORTS points out, he does list very macho interests on his bio at the Capitals home page, such as fantasy sports, fishing and rock concerts. And the guy likes cheese sticks. But then you look at the photo accompanying his bio, and it seems almost impossible that someone that well dressed could like cheese sticks. He seems more likely to have been David Fisher’s choir partner on “Six Feet Under” than a hockey fan:

Caps Red Rocker David

(Plus, he lists his college fraternity in his bio, which poses more issues: Sure, he probably drank a lot of beer, but he also probably was paddled on his butt a lot.)

At the end of the day, I just keep coming back to the shirt he has to wear as a member of the Red Rockers, and thinking that no self-respecting straight man could be made to put on something that garish and skin-tight: even Jake Shears from The Scissor Sisters thinks that’s “too gay.” Nothing is worth that humiliation.

Washington Capitals Red Rockers in action

On second thought, I think I have a knitting group to go to. Toodles!