One of my favorite women’s tennis players of all time is Steffi Graf, who celebrated her 40th birthday this week. Thanks to her bullet-like forehands and unparalleled athleticism, Graf was as dominant in her era as any women’s player in history.
But of course as a teenager, all I remember were those unbelievable legs. My god, what a body. Safe to say back then I wasn’t the only Steffi fan who rarely came up for air. (What’s this schnozz you speak of?)
So with Graf’s big 4-0 upon us this week, I set out to comb the interwebs for some fine photos of her. And what I found was, ahem, a little shocking.
(Early ’90s Graf inspiration for Sacha Cohen’s Bruno?)
Turns out there are a ton of nude photos of Graf posted on the web. Nipple slips, candid nudes on the beach, and about a bajillion unflattering upskirt shots on the court. There so many nudes that you almost wonder if some of them are fake. (No, that’s not what I meant - they’re real.)
(Graf nipple slip or wigged out Andy Dick making it at Missie B.’s?)
Anwway, most of the shots look to be from cheesy European tabloids whose photographers had not yet discovered the wonderment that is White Balance.
My absolute favorite? A nude Steffi toweling off outdoors next to her bloated, beached father Peter - who looks like an extra from Casino.
(Thanks for that)
I didn’t link to the uncensored photos because many of the sites contain a porno quotient a little too high for my liking. But they’re easy to find, just keep Google’s “safe search off” setting in place and you’ll get them in a hot minute.
(Before they were famous: Kirk Cameron goes nude)
Exactly zero of the pics are flattering in my opinion. She actually looks more attractive with her clothes on in the SI glamour shots. Bless her heart.
I guess it could be worse though for the famous former tennis great. She could be morphing into Elton John.
And while we’re on the subject of women’s tennis players who look better with their clothes on …
(Mort now confirms Florio’s report of Lomas Brown on the comeback trail)
… I think.