• We get to the bottom of who this bootylicious tennis temptress is:

• Vikings safety Darren Sharper should be ticketed for parking his SUV in a handicapped spot.

• A 12-year-old Chinese girl hopes to become a Paralympic swimming champ, even though half her body is a basketball.

• And what’s wrong with a little eye candy with your sports coverage?

• Need to send out a belated holiday gift? You can’t go wrong with a nude Women of Curling calendar.

•  An Italian soccer player hopes to make the transition from the playing pitch to the porno set.

• Kevin Federline rebounds from Britney by hooking up with a Hawaii beach volleyball player.

• Drinks, drugs & dirty girls aren’t enough to keep a Texas Longhorns recruit from choosing Oklahoma instead.

• And the winner of today’s sensational Celtics fan caption contest is…

Vandy Is Dandy, with this cerealized suggestion: They’re always after me Lucky Charms! And now I’ve got photographic proof!

Thanks for playing. Hope you have a fun, hungover-limited weekend!