â€¢ Sorry, fellas - Victoria’s Secret supermodel Adriana Lima is officially off the market after eloping with Memphis Grizzlies guard Marko Jaric.
â€¢ Meanwhile, fellow lovely lingerie poser Gisele Bundchen has finally made an honest man out of Tom Brady.
â€¢ Could Gina Carano soon be following in Adriana’s & Gisele’s high heels? After all, she just did a spread for Maxim - while her bra is up for bids.
â€¢ Would you pay $28,000 to watch a Bears-Lions game on your computer? This Chicago fan unknowingly did, thanks to AT&T.
â€¢ A poker player down thousands of dollars in debt takes a violent gamble by allegedly killing his parents for his inheritance.
â€¢ Oh, Canada. When you’re not making false rape charges against ex-CFL players, you’re deporting AIDS-riddled ex-CFL players back to the States.
â€¢ Skip Bayless sez that some Cowboys say that Troy Aikman is gay.
â€¢ And the winner of today’s baffled Bruin baller caption contest is…
Dunder Mifflin Security Guard, who offers up this costly quip: “Oh, no! There’s a Stanford guy behind me! He’s going to ruin my financial accounts!”
Thanks to everyone for playing. Have an economically-stable weekend!