Wait, Someone Tried To Impersonate Kiko Calero?

Give Oscar Corral credit: he’s got a flair for obscurity. After all, if you were asked to list every single major leaguer who’s been in the league for the last seven years*, you’d give up long before reaching Kiko Calero, a journeyman reliever who’s currently toiling away in Baseball Hell Miami with the Marlins.

Oscar Corral Kiko Calero
(Really, Corral should not have been using this as an ID.)

But perhaps that was the draw for Corral, a suspected illegal immigrant; the whole “I must be Kiko if I say I am, because who would ever make that up?” thing. Even Kiko Calero doesn’t enjoy telling people he’s Kiko Calero.

From the EAST VALLEY TRIBUNE:

According to the state Department of Public Safety, Oscar Corral, 41, was using the identity of Florida Marlins relief pitcher Kiko Calero, whose full name is Enrique Calero Carrion.

Bart Graves, DPS spokesman, said Corral was stopped on State Route 51 … about 7 a.m. Thursday.

He presented a forged Puerto Rican driver license with the pitcher’s full name. Corral also presented a Social Security card, which was forged, Graves said.

Investigators checked the Social Security number and found it belonged to Calero.

Wow. It’s one thing to just use a fake name, but having Calero’s social security number as well? That’s a bit scary; they don’t exactly give those things out at the supermarket, after all. There’s no word on whether Corral actually used Calero’s personal information for financial gain or whether this is one of the kindler, gentler identity thefts; that kind of information’s likely to take days or weeks to ferret out.

Two things ultimately undermined Corral’s plot - well, three, if you include “41-year-old illegal immigrant using a major leaguer’s identity and thinking it would end well.” First, as we mentioned before, Calero pitches in Miami. That’s in Florida. Corral lives in Chandler. That’s in Arizona. We’re no mapologists, but those two places aren’t exactly close by; you’d think that if you wanted to impersonate a very famous person whose job title includes the geographic area they work in, you too should live in or near said area. If geography were darts at a bar and Florida was the bullseye, Arizona is killing some poor waitress 20 feet away from the board.

Then there’s the fact of why Corral was busted. It wasn’t that authorities got wise to his misdeeds as he carried them out; he was discovered when a cop pulled him over for having a poorly inflated tire. All right then, we might be able to put away the “was Corral getting money off of Calero’s identity” mystery right here and now, because rich people don’t exactly roll on flat tires.

Besides, Phoenix is slowly turning into a Cardinals town. Corral should have gone with impersonating Kurt Warner instead. That resemblance is there, right?

*We’re not really sure how that scenario could ever take place, mind you, unless SPORCLE.COM starts getting desperate for sports quizzes.