Bears’ Orton Actually Played Well - No, Seriously

Perhaps you saw last night’s San Francisco 49ers-Chicago Bears football contest. Perhaps you did not. In any case, you’ll be as shocked as I am about last night’s developments: Kyle Orton, scourge of clean-faced beer drinkers everywhere, was … wait for it … actually really good!

Yes, believe it or not, Orton gave Bears fans some reason to think the quarterback position won’t be a total debacle this year.

From the CHICAGO TRIBUNE’s David Haugh:

Showing more emotion than he had since winning the job, quarterback Kyle Orton pumped his fist in the air with a smile that showed as much relief as joy. A sideline full of teammates, an organization committed to developing Orton and a football city desperate for hope could relate. Showing poise in a pocket that never collapsed, Orton hit 10 of 17 passes for 147 yards without an interception for a passer rating of 126.3. Nope, that’s no misprint.

“This wasn’t surprising,” general manager Jerry Angelo said outside the Bears locker room.

Dude, Jerry Angelo — yes it was. Incredibly surprising. So surprising I’m writing a blog post about the Bears, which is something I vowed I’d never do this year. But Neckbeard won me back. What can I say? He knows how to treat me. *Swoon.*

Of course, hopefully everyone remembers that last night’s performance was an exhibition game … against reserves … vs. the 49ers’ vaunted defense. Let’s not start licking the whiskey off each other’s chins just yet.