Overall, things haven’t been going that great for the Minnesota Vikings in the last few weeks. While they’re still in first place in the NFC North over the Chicago Bears, they have the possible suspensions of The Williams Wall looming over their heads, and now they have to put their playoff hopes in the incompetent hands of Tarvaris Jackson thanks to Gus Frerotte’s broken back. Still, despite all the troubles facing the rest of his team, things are going pretty well for tight end/flasher Visanthe Shiancoe.
Ever since Visanthe unsheathed his sword on Fox’s postgame coverage last Sunday, he’s received quite a bit of attention. Where as before Sunday he was just a tight end with a weird name nobody could pronounce, now he’s a tight end with a weird name nobody can pronounce who has showed his penis to the world. The world noticed that penis too. Well, at least the porn world noticed.
“From what we’ve seen, there is definitely a career for Visanthe in the adult industry, if he’d like one,” said Black Ice general manager Tony Santoro. “We would welcome an opportunity to align ourselves with a world-class athlete of Viante’s stature.”
Black Ice publicist Scott Stein said the company is unaware of any morals clause in Shiancoe’s contract that would prevent him from accepting a contract with the makers of Bubble Butt Barbecue 2.
“Whether or not Visanthe will be interested in our offer - or if the league will intervene - remains to be seen,” said Santoro. “It’s worth a shot, as this would definitely be something that the fans will want to see.”
Yes, because everybody knows that when guys watch Bubble Butt Barbecue they’re watching to look at all the famous units, not the bubble butts. Of course, if Visanthe accepts the offer he won’t be the first person to start their career thanks to exposing his frank and beans. In fact, it was only after Brooks saw me coming out of the steam room at our local gym with my glory showing that he knew I was ready to write the big stories here.