Winter is creeping up on the Upper Midwest, with temperatures in the 20s and snow on the way. The nights are long, the cold biting. That means there’s only two things for residents of the Twin Cities to do: watch football, and drink. As Vikings fans proved yesterday, they’re masters at multitasking.

You’d expect some debauchery as the surprisingly-frisky Vikings hosted the struggling Packers in a crucial divisional matchup. But nothing can prepare you for the ST. PAUL PIONEER PRESS’ roundup, accurately headlined “Drunk at the Dome,” which features more vomit than Spring Break at Cabo.

Three fans were arrested, seven were ejected and two ended up in detox during Minnesota’s 28-27 win. That’s a relatively tame Vikes-Pack game, according to police. I don’t think I’d want to see a regular game, judging from the “well-behaved” fans yesterday:

Like the 33-year-old in the Fran Tarkenton jersey, who passed out face first into a sink in the men’s restroom behind Section 110 with 10 minutes left in the first quarter.

First-aid workers, with the help of officers Jim Burns and Michael Geere, steered him into the concourse, where he collapsed against a wall and threw up. Police used the man’s cell phone to call his buddy from their seats.

He assumed responsibility for taking home his inebriated friend, who steadied his vomit-soaked hand on the “Driver” stitching of his buddy’s Donald Driver Packers jersey.

Ten minutes left in the first quarter? Lightweight.

Like the 25-year-old man who vomited all over his Adrian Peterson jersey outside Gate H. He slurred a tale of being abandoned by his friends 20 minutes before kickoff to officers who found him slumped against a cement barrier.

He never entered the building. Police said he likely would not see daylight until Wednesday, drying out while strapped to a gurney before undergoing a substance-abuse evaluation.

Sounds like the drunk tank was more packed than your average Timberwolves game.

Like the middle-aged fan wearing a sweatshirt that read “I Root For The Vikings And Anyone Who Plays Green Bay” who protested being ejected for flipping middle fingers to Packers fans in Section 114.

Officers asked for his ticket stub to record the incident for the team. The man, who had been drinking, said they would have to arrest him first.

Wrong answer.

When Chicago comes to visit in three weeks, they may have to call out the national guard.