• Another male fantasy flattened: Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima ties the knot with Memphis Grizzlies guard Marko Jaric.

Life just isn’t fair sometimes.

• Gina Carano makes a move to Maxim, while her bra is up for bid.

• The Nets’ Devin Harris makes a game-winning half-court shot to sink the Sixers - even after he was blocked the first time.

• Is it in you? Get Tiger Woods’ used Gatorade bottle for only $25,000.

• LenDale White won’t be charged with beating a motorist with his belt.

• Brittney Griner can ball with the big boys, as shown by her dunking skillz.

• Two deaths in one night casts a grim shadow on the Sharks’ practice rink.

• A bank given $1.6 billion in bailout money spends an extravagant weekend hosting a golf tournament with very expensive parties & concerts.

• And the winner of today’s chilling NHL mascot caption contest is…

The Real BPR, with this shocking revelation: E Presents THS: The Land Shark never got back on his feet after leaving SNL.  Just another naive kid making his way down the Hollywood food chain, eventually turning to cross-species porn.

Thanks for playing. Don’t let tomorrow’s contest sneak up behind you!