Viagra Makes Cyclists Ride Longer and Harder?

Dick Pound and the World Anti-Doping Agency continue to expand their purview in the most ironic way possible for Mr. Pound: funding a study to see if Viagra helps cyclists’ endurance at high altitudes. We would be shocked and saddened to find that the study discovered no correlation between the two as we already have our “Dick Pound Bans Viagra From Peddlers” lede written.

Cyclists claim no “kickstand” issues during the tests because they stay focused on the task and are surrounded by photos of mountain peaks and Lance Armstrong. Sadly, we must disagree as we’ve found one of those posters:

Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow

We became sufficiently distracted before we noticed Lance was standing next to someone. Heavens. “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”, indeed.

We tease science because we care, even when they tell us “… the most common side effect is headache” and we can only respond pithily, “That’s what she said!”

However, we must protest the conclusion at the end of this article:

“… it doesn’t look like an across-the-board enhancer. It’s probably not the magic pill athletes are looking for.”

Paul Lo Duca

We disagree respectfully with your conclusions, kind scientists. We disagree.