Venus Fashions Wimbledon Win Over Sis’ Serena

Venus Williams won her fifth Wimbledon singles title today, beating flat-footed sister Serena in the process, 7-5, 6-4.

Serena Williams Is Fat

(Two guesses for Serena’s injuries and subsequent inconsistent play)

The dominance that once was Serena is now obviously gone. Venus hadn’t beat her since the 2001 U.S. Open, but today’s win was no fluke. Added weight (she was noticeably slow today), injuries and perhaps inconsistency coming from lack of a regular playing schedule has quite obviously caught up to Serena (who hasn’t won at Wimbledon in five years).

Though the media of course would never report such a thing.
Both players have created plenty of distractions off-the-court for themselves, including their inane (still!) attempts at developing viable fashion brands. Serena seemed to stray more away from tennis in the past 3-4 years, and that lack of focus has cost her in on-court results and now in her sibling rivalry.

As for the future, vanquished NBC analyst Bud Collins said today on ESPN, “I think both have Grand Slam titles left in them.”

Probably wishful thinking, but only if the sisters continue to attend to tennis as their current reason for being, instead of pretending to be fashion designers and actresses.