Vandals Deface Yow Mural, Punch Ticket To Hell

While the Founding Fathers insisted that all men were created equal, we can safely conclude that not all men are created equally. The reason I bear no resemblance to LeBron James (or, if you want to take melatonin out of the equation, Dolph Lundgren in the early 80s) isn’t just a matter of a lackadaisical approach to exercise, but factors determined at or before my very conception. And let’s face it. Some people are born without legs, some without imagination, some without a sense of humor. And then there’s the folks in North Carolina who were obviously born without - and now live without - any sense of tragedy whatsoever.

Be Polite Vandalism
(In this instance, the sign had it coming.)

As you undoubtedly recall, last week, North Carolina State’s famed women’s basketball coach Kay Yow finally succumbed to cancer after fighting it for years. The school, conference, and college basketball world have been solemn and respectful as they remembered the matriarch of east coast college basketball, and one of the many tributes was a mural in NCSU’s Free Expression Tunnel, which is exactly what it sounds like. But placing a tribute to Yow in the one place on campus where graffiti is legal and encouraged may not have been the wisest idea, as it has already fallen victim to vandalism of a ludicrously offensive nature:

A blue mustache and the phrase “cancer rules” were added to the painting, which shows a portrait of Yow against a pink background. The graffiti was removed and the mural restored by early Sunday morning, but the incident did not sit well with students.

“Cancer rules”? Nobody actually roots for cancer as an institution (and those falling under the Zodiac sign are, for the most part, tools themselves), so that’s clearly just heinous dickitude for the sake of dickitude.

Not surprisingly, school officials and students suspect that there may have been some outside influence on the vandalism; This just isn’t something a fellow NC State student would do, most think. But who else could have been in such close proximity that they - oh hell, it’s you guys again:

The defacement came the same day the N.C. State men’s basketball team played UNC-Chapel Hill, and some in the N.C. State community attributed the graffiti to fans from the rival university.

Honestly, even without the game on campus, the fact that the defacement was done in blue, a color that Tar Heel fans don more fervently than the Crips, was probably enough to tell you to look off-campus for this one. Campus police are unsure whether they’ll investigate, mainly because it would probably be nine different shades of impossible to pin someone down on something like this.

Oh wait, Facebook. Okay, look through Facebook pictures to see if anyone was seriously stupid enough to incriminate themselves. Should that prove fruitless, you could also have a few words with this commenter from the NEWS-OBSERVER’s website, who objects to the story’s relevance in new and interesting ways:

Seriously? This is a news story? And we’re surprised? It is called the FREE EXPRESSION TUNNEL, where any idiot with spray paint is free to act like an idiot. I walk through the tunnel every day and I see insensitive and classless tags all the time. Also, about the mural, I wouldn’t have known it was supposed to be a likeness of Ms. Yow unless her name wasn’t right next to it, it was hardly a spitting image.

That’s right; it doesn’t matter what someone did to the mural because it wasn’t good enough. NCSU keeps it real!

But if that commenter had no complicity in the act and is just, y’know, a prick - neither a criminal nor unusual offense, that - then campus police would be back to square one, except with more time, money, and manpower wasted. So I guess what we’re driving at is this: if anyone wants to snitch and turn someone in, I’m sure everyone in Raleigh would be more than grateful.