Freedom is under attack, ladies and gentlemen. It’s so obvious. What ever happened to the American way of going broke trying to afford things you don’t even need?
Rather than letting season ticket holders’ bank accounts get overdrawn for the opportunity to watch
horrible terrible awful only D-I by way of technicality great football, the University of Washington is instituting a program called “Dawgs Helping Dawgs.” In it, the UW is soliciting donations from its well-off season ticket holders for those who can’t afford them anymore. Those redistributing secret atheist* bastards!
“This will be a good opportunity for people to be able to hold on [to their tickets],” said Roy Shick, the school’s associate athletic director for development.
Fans won’t get their old season tickets back but will be seated in general public ticket areas. However, they will get to maintain their priority points standing based on consecutive years of purchasing season tickets.
Okay, good. At the very least we can stigmatize the free-loaders and round them into
internment camps the worst seats in the stadium.
Weirder yet, the plan’s already working. A group called “Husky Fever” (no, not these guys) has donated enough money for 100 fans by themselves, all of whom now get to watch Jake Locker sit on the sidelines while his team loses by 30.
Of course, the University could have helped its fans by, oh we don’t know, lowering the ticket prices just a skosh as the local economy has sputtered to a halt, with the unemployment rate now at 9.3%. You can imagine what the University wants credit for instead.
But hey, crappy tickets for crappy football on someone else’s dollar! Hooooray…?
*What? Have you ever seen a husky go to church?