Usain Bolt Gets Fast Fuel From Chicken Nuggets

Without spoiling any primetime Olympic goodness, it is our pleasure to report that Usain Bolt did, in fact, win the 200-meter sprint today, and did, in fact, set a world record time in the process. The leaked video — it has since disappeared, of course — showed Usain so far out in front of the field he looked less like a sprinter and more like a marathoner.

Fortunately, Bolt was just as impressive as after the race, and Agent Steinz of D.C. SPORTS BOG was there to capture some of the madness:

“You want the truth, right? All right. I got up at 12, yah, 12. My masseuse brought me nuggets, of course. I’m serious, though, he brought me nuggets. I didn’t really want to go to the cafeteria so he brought me nuggets. And I came straight to the track, and my masseuse again brought me more nuggets. I just had two, though, because my coach was saying I shouldn’t eat so much nuggets before the race.”

“To tell you the truth, right now, I just want to chill out. I just want to sleep….I wish I was just in sandals right now, taking a weekend.”

“I’ve been dreaming of this since I was like yea high….Anything is possible If I put my mind to it. I’m just looking forward to my birthday tomorrow. Actually, I’m 22 now.”

“I’ve written history, pretty much.”

With two world records in the 100- and 200-meter sprints, yes, Usain, yes you have. Pretty much.