USA Basketball Restores Order, Brings Home Gold

While you were sleeping or taking part in your usual late night weekend activities USA Basketball was busy restoring order in the world of international basketball and not playing defense in the Gold Medal Game against Spain.

USA Basketball Gold Medal

The cleverly titled “Redeem Team” closed out the tournement with a 118-107 victory over Pau Gasol and the politically correct Spaniards.

The USA came into Sunday’s game beating their opponents in their first seven games by an average of 30.3 points, which included a 37 point smackdown of Spain in pool play. In the finals, however, Spain gave the US a hotly contested offensive slugfest that remained in question until the game’s final two minutes.

Dwayne Wade who looked like the Dwayne Wade who took the Miami Heat to an NBA Championship throughout the tournament and not the Dwayne Wade who was feeling the effects of dating Star Jones, scored 27 points off the bench to lead all scorers. Just like the rest of the world D-Wade needed some time away from Star.

Kobe Bryant added 20 points in the game that gave the US it’s first Gold Medal since the 2000 Olympics.

Unlike the team of the 2004 games and the 2006 World Championships, this team was built for the international game. No longer could we be embarassed by losing to countries like Greece and non-countries like Puerto Rico (we own them). Now, the Gold is back in the U.S. and everything is right in the world. Everything except for that whole thing in Iraq, and then there’s that Darfur thing too. At least we just showed the world that we can

put a basketball in a hoop better than everyone else can, right?