US Soccer Wins Big Gold Cup

SOCCER SQUAD GETS BIG NEW DRINKING VESSEL WITH WIN: The U.S. Men’s Soccer Team defeated Mexico 2-1 on Sunday to clinch the CONCACAF Cup. In reponse to the triumph, DEADSPIN gives a hearty toast to the victors:

Landon Donovan Bartles & Jaymes

So we get a big gold cup, and we get to fill it with any damn thing we want to. Landon Donovan’s wine coolers are going to taste particularly fruity tonight, being sipped out of our special new cup.”