US Cyclist Tests Positive Again, Promptly Retires

Tyler Hamilton, who is to Lance Armstrong what Scottie Pippen was to Michael Jordan, has tested positive again in another drug test, this time for the banned steroid DHEA. After hiding the news for a month, including claiming “bronchitis” when dropping out of a race, the cyclist has decided to retire from the sport at the tender age of 38.

Tyler Hamilton and Lance Armstrong

(Addendum to racing jersey: never give up unless the pee’s tainted)

This comes after being caught doping his blood with super-oxygenated blood from another person in 2004, and paying $50,000 to a Spanish doctor for a farmer’s market of doping materials and sending the bill to his wife. So why did he take DHEA? (Though we would also accept “Why stop now?”)

Hamilton said he took the substance to try to alleviate his depression. And besides from that, that’s all Tyler is going to talk about:

“I took a banned substance so I need to take whatever penalty they will give me and move forward,” Hamilton said. “Today is about my leaving the sport and to talk about my depression, not the past. I don’t want to talk about that anymore, it’s about moving forward and taking care of myself.”

It’s not quite a JC Romero situation; the supplement company’s Web site brags about the DHEA in their product. The former support rider for Lance Armstrong hadn’t exactly been racing well, either, finishing second-to-last in the last Tour of California.