Famed open-wheel racer Al Unser, Jr.’s name popped up in an indictment against an Albuquerque, NM, pimp when the local district attorney alleged the businessman of ill repute told Unser that video of the Indy 500 champ in a “compromising position” could accidentally surface in the public space unless large stacks of cash pressed the tape back down. And Unser paid.

(Al in 2007 just doing it wrong)

The strip club maven (and, again, sex middleman) demanded $750,000, but it’s not clear how much Unser put down on his lavish getaway from scandal.  The district attorney insists Unser didn’t pay for sex, but we suspect the string of decisions that lead the aged scion of the Unser clan to even know this charming fellow could leave numerous embarrassing options open.

Of course, Unser’s alcoholism is public record, from his DWI to domestic violence all recorded legally.  However, we choose to focus on the fact that there is a second extortion target in the 137-count indictment.  What other rich and famous celebrity would be caught dead in Albuquerque with mischief in his heart?

Oh no.  Oh, this is a tragic day.