Two North Carolina football players took the witness stand today and described being tied up, robbed, and fondled by a woman during an incident last December. Aren’t football players supposed to be intimidating and be able to take care of themselves? Well, it probably didn’t help that they were ridiculously wasted. It might help explain why someone thought it would be a good idea to bring these ladies home:

The revelations came during the trial of Michael Troy Lewis of Durham who’s charged with larceny, kidnapping, conspiracy, robbery, and even assault on a government official for his role in the incident. Lewis allegedly tied up the two players in their apartment and used two women to “distract” the players while he robbed them. One of the players’ description makes it sounds like he ended up in a bad sequel to Hostel.

WRAL in North Carolina has the details from this morning’s odd testimony.

UNC lineman and victim Aaron Stahl said the night started out good, but he had a few too many at a friend’s birthday party:

“We went uptown to the bars,” Stahl said. “It was one of the most drunk times I’ve ever had in my life.”

If this is only one of the drunkest nights in his life, I don’t know if that is such a good thing to point out. Things then took a turn for the worse:

Lost, drunk, and out of cash, Stahl says he asked the three for a ride.

“Somewhere along the ride home, I kind of faded out,” he testified. “When I came to, I was bound in my chair in my underwear.”

A second player said he found Lewis standing naked in the apartment hallway when he returned home later that night. Lewis beckoned him back to Stahl’s room, where the women lured him into bed, he said.

Then, he and Stahl were tied up and blindfolded, and one of the women fondled him, the player told jurors.

The second player was not identified in the story. He says he was tied up with a shoelace, then when he tried to resist was greeted with a knife to the throat and this screenwriter’s dream of a quote from Lewis:

“He said, ‘You don’t want your mother to go to your funeral do you? Because I’m going to kill you,’” the player told jurors. 

The defense is of course claiming the whole thing was consensual and everybody was having a grand old time. The lawyer even goes as far as saying the players were attempting to pay the women for sex. The aforementioned ladies, Tnikia Washington and Monique Taylor, are charged with a variety of lesser crimes and being tried separately.