UFL, Versus Will Bring Out The Big Guns For TV

The UFL season begins in about a week, as if you didn’t have the date circled with a sparkly glow pen. In addition to rolling out the schedule, we’ve also got your announcers for the Versus TV broadcasts. You’ve got your Doug Flutie, your Dave Sims, your Kordell Stewart … wait, what? But most importantly of all …

Anita Marks

Gratuitous Anita Marks. If anyone were cut out to be a UFL sideline reporter, it’s Ms. Marks, who has not only been a  broadcasting fixture on radio, but also a quarterback in the Women’s Professional Football League and a Playboy model. Ha, match that resume, Suzy Kolber.

The press announcement, via FANG’S BITES and AWFUL ANNOUNCING:

The United Football League announced today that four highly talented broadcasters will lead the television coverage of the UFL on VERSUS. Veteran play-play announcer Dave Sims joins the broadcast booth with color analyst and former NFL standout Doug Flutie. Former Steelers Quarterback Kordell Stewart and radio and television host Anita Marks will serve as sideline and features reporters.

“We have assembled a top-notch team to lead our inaugural telecasts on VERSUS,” said Frank Vuono, COO of the UFL. “The combined football experience and knowledge of Dave, Doug, Kordell and Anita will help us provide unprecedented access to professional football while allowing the home viewer prime viewing position that will truly make them feel like they are part of the action.”

The term “motley crew” does come to mind here, but then again, we’re not looking for Al Michaels and John Madden, are we? We want these broadcasts to be fun and unpredictable, as only a sport featuring Denny Green and the California Redwoods can be.

Because this is just the kind of guy you are, to you Marks is best known for her 2002 spread in PLAYBOY MAGAZINE, “The Naked Quarterback.” She played in the WPFL for five seasons, three with the Miami Fury and one with the Florida Stingrays. But my favorite Anita Marks fact comes from her Wikipedia page, where she claims that while growing up in Florida, she was so tough that she made boys play dolls with her.

And Ms. Marks is best known in the mid-Atlantic region as The Ultimate Sports Chick on Baltimore’s ESPN Radio 1300, where, among other things, she coined the term “Juice Monkey.” It was in reference to the Chargers’ Shawne Merriman in 2006, as Marks was attempting to mock his steroid use, but crossed in inadvertently into foot-in-mouth territory.

She apologized for the remark the next day, saying that she didn’t mean it to be racial in nature. But then, how do you explain this? From THE EXAMINER:

In a Q&A piece that appeared in now-defunct CTN Magazine in August of 2003, she was quoted as saying: “I did not realize how racially segregated Boston is until I visited with the New England Storm football team. There was only one black player! Let’s face it, [African-Americans] are more athletically inclined than caucasians.”

Oct. 8, Redwoods at Las Vegas Locomotives. Should be a barrel of fun.