HAFNER’S LIFE ON THE FARM, LOOKING FOR MR. PRONKBAR: LARRY BROWN SPORTS delves deep into the man, the myth, the mystery known as “Pronk” - Travis Hafner of the Cleveland Indians:

Pronk got his nickname from a combination of “Project” and “Donkey”, which may mean he was an ass to work with. He grew up on a North Dakota farm where his family planted wheat, corn, barley, sunflowers, and the real cash crop - flax.

Pronk always knew he wanted to follow the Road to The Show. But when his school counselor told him he needed a backup plan for employment, Hafner replied, “WWF wrestler”.

But Pronk had brains, as he was valedictorian of his high school - out of a total of 8 graduates. Yet, he became more modest about his intellectual superiority in later years, as he was known to wear a shirt in the Tribe’s clubhouse enscribed, “I’m not very smart, but I can lift heavy things.”

Best of all, Pronk can always claim one great thing in common with “Mr. October” Reggie Jackson: both have candy bars named after themselves:

Speaking of sugary sweets and the boys of summer, the Candy Wrapper Museum has an interesting collection of sports-themed snacks. The offerings span many decades, from the official Babe Ruth Bar (not to be confused with Baby Ruth), to the more recent (Car)Melo Bar.

Some of the highlights on display include the Pete Rose Supercharg’r Energy Bar (bet you have one in your fridge):

The San Diego Chicken chicken-shaped bubble gum (unfortunately, no choice of BBQ or Honey Mustard flavor):

And the one that should be making a comeback on the shelves of the Piggly Wiggly - the Milwaukee Brewer Bar:

Sounds chocolicious. Bet you can feel the zits forming on your face already.