Trade Rumors Bring Death Threats To Soccer Star

Let’s be clear: things are different across the pond when it comes to sports. Oh sure, you might think Americans are fanatical about their favorite team. But come on, what’s so big about wearing replica jerseys on casual Friday or, like, tailgating? Anyone can dress poorly or drink on a Saturday morning. It takes a special kind of stupid to love your team so much that you start calling in death threats to the best player just because he might leave. England, you win.

Jermain Defoe

That’s Jermain Defoe, and he’s quite good at soccer (or what they call “the foot’s ball”). He’s also probably too expensive for his club, Portsmouth to keep on the payroll. So with the transfer window looming, rumors are flying about whether Dafoe will go to Spurs, Man City, or Juventus. Pompey fans are understandably upset about the impending departure, but calling in death threats while he’s still on your team? Guys, you’re doing it wrong.

“I have absolutely no idea how they got hold of my number but some of the calls have made me sick to my stomach,” Defoe told the Sunday Mirror. “I have reported it to officials at the club, but cannot accept that it is coming from people with a balanced state of mind.

One could effortlessly make the claim that any big fan of any sports franchise has an unbalanced mind, but we do see the point Defoe is trying to make. If he wants to know where the calls are coming from, he may try googling the number; it’s difficult to imagine that a campaign like this could be organized without the help of the Internet (note: we do not have his number, so don’t ask us).

The worst part is that nothing’s set in stone for Defoe’s departure; he may still yet stay. Or he may have, anyway, before Pompey fans went batcakes. It’s like a husband saying, “Look, honey, I’m really sorry about the rope burns, but I was so scared that you would leave me that I had to tie you up and hold you at gunpoint until you promised not to divorce me. Now, you wanna go see a movie?” There are just some things you can’t undo, and a death threat would probably be in that book. Hell, it’s probably on the cover.