Town Threatens to Fine Kids For Playing Outdoors

The town of Newark, Nottinghamshire has declared war on fun. A council from the British town has begun issuing letters to children warning them that they face “prosecution and fines of up to £100 if they annoy neighbours with ball games.”

Crying kid on Santa's lap

While we’re not entirely sure about the legality of such measures - can a council just start handing out fines left and right as they please? - what’s known is that kids are going to have to think twice now if they ever want to go outside and have a “kickabout”. (They have so many awesome words over there!)

From the DAILY MAIL:

The drive is being led by the council’s anti- social behaviour co-ordinator, Lynn Pallett.

Hold on a second, “anti-social behaviour co-ordinator”? Is that an actual job title? Or is that the DAILY MAIL using that dry British humour we’ve all heard so much about? Let’s continue:

She said residents have complained of flowerbeds being trampled by children retrieving balls that have been kicked into gardens, while other householders have reported damage to vehicles parked outside their properties.

Some residents yesterday backed the clampdown, but others accused Newark and Sherwood District Council of ‘using a sledge-hammer to crack a nut’ and said that children should be encouraged to play outdoors.

Ha! “Using a sledge-hammer to crack a nut!” You told her, anonymous resident!

But don’t fret, kids. There is a bright side to this news. With the letters in hand, you now have the greatest excuse ever if your parents ever get on your case for staying inside and playing too many video games. You can’t play outside. It’s against the law!

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