We couldn’t have been more excited to see that Terrell Owens has cranked up the Q rating on his Official Celebrity Football Camp (only $195!), inviting Michael Irvin and Adam “Pacman” Jones to speak to the kids. (”Kids, always check for an Adam’s apple. Oh, and rain is a privilege and not a right. Thank you.”)

(”… and, in conclusion, screw the Redskins. Now let’s sing the campfire song, “(I Was Just) Holdin’ It for a Friend”…)

We were also thrilled to hear sprinter Maurice Greene would be there because he always brings us gifts from Mexico. Also, he’s dating one of the “Deal or No Deal” models. Maybe she visits; maybe not. It’s worth a chance. We’ve got our “special” birth certificate and our credit card out; sign us up.

(By the way, is it possible for the camp motto to be “Now your parents have 195 fewer reasons to live”? We vote for that one.)

When we suggest that Irvin and Jones will be handing out cautionary tales instead of bland platitudes, we aren’t just whistlin’ “Yellow Rose of Texas”:

“‘I’m sure those two can be very enlightening to kids who’ve had a troubled upbringing,’ Owens said. ‘(Their stories) show you that you can be successful even though you make mistakes. It’s more powerful when you can hear it from a guy like Michael Irvin.’”

Our next goal: a Michael Irvin/Michael Milken day camp on salvation and athlete investing. Perhaps we could convince Brian Cuban to speak at the event.