The piece documents Torii Hunter’s (alleged) first drive to Angels Stadium, as he’s assisted by a vehicle GPS system he calls “Susan“. And his brother Tram. Both aren’t much help.
Hunter, while en route to the ballpark, riffs on his new SoCal home: “I’m going to walk the beach with my rally monkey … we’re going to put some Speedos on. No shirt, shave all my chest hairs. … man, I made a wrong turn, we better not be going the wrong way.”
Hunter then pulls up to the Angels Stadium gate for the first time (again, allegedly) and is greeted by a security guard:
Guard: “You are?”
Hunter: “My name is Gary. Gary Mathews.”
Guard: “Gary, oh how’s Gary doing? You’re not Gary Mathews.”
Hunter will never, ever make it as an Anaheim Angel. Way too much personality.