Tony Parker Likely To Spurn San Antonio To Follow Eva Longoria When Spurs Contract Expires

SURPRISE! PARKER PREDICTS MARRIAGE TO LAST 5 YEARS: SPORTS ILLUSTRATED reports Tony Parker, whose deal with the Spurs runs for four more seasons, said of his next NBA contract, “We need to live full time in the same city, so naturally my decision is going to be affected by Eva (Longoria) and her career.

Tony Parker Eva Longoria

Perhaps this comment might be a little disconcerting to Spurs fans, but take heart Alamoans, what are the odds the two will still be together then? About the same as Gregg Popovich signing a endorsement deal with Oil of Olay.

SI also reports Tony Parker’s first rap single has reached #2 on France’s new-music charts.

Tony Parker Video

As an accompaniment to the song, Parker dutifully fulfills the rap video quota of blinding bling, sunglasses indoors, fur coats, distractive lighting, but unfortunately no huge harlot hindquarters, which is surprising considering Eva Longoria’s downloadable derriere. Or as I call it, BVA (Best. Ass. Eva.):

Eva Longoria Butt Photo

I haven’t checked France’s hit list since this news broke, but let me guess what album is currently topping the charts:

Jerry Lewis