PARKER’S FUN WILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR A LONGORIA TIME: Poor Tony Parker. First, his bride-to-be Eva Longoria put down a sex ban before their marriage.

And now that the wedding day has come and gone, the NBA Finals MVP will still have to wait to consummate, as his new wife has been banned from birthing by the producers of “Desperate Housewives”.

The show runners told Eva to hold off on having any buns in the oven, since its too late in the season to write any pregnant storylines for her character.

You know, Shawn Kemp never had this problem.