Tonight I’m Picking Bill Maher Over My Bulldogs

I’m still holed up in a hotel in Los Angeles as I look for a place to live on the westside, preferably with rent under $12,500 per week in a post Cold War-wired building.

Bill Maher Playboy Mansion Regular

(Both’ll feature designated hitters in tasteful red ensembles)

Since I’ve been back, I’ve felt increasingly bad about my ever-enlarging carbon footprint. Not because I’ve been driving a lot. Rather, I haven’t touched the USA TODAY that’s been slid under my hotel room door every day for the past two weeks. Oh, the humanity!

It’s not because the paper doesn’t do a fine job covering all manner of world matters. It’s more that I really appreciate the fact that people (OK, my mom) think I look young for my age, and I don’t want to pick up something that might suddenly cause an onslaught of liver spots.

Tonight my alma mater, the Univ. of Georgia, plays for the NCAA college baseball championship in Omaha. I’ve also been invited (via Pete @ Yardbarker.com) to a boxing card this evening at the Playboy Mansion. The event includes dinner, wine *tasting*, the fights bathroom break and an after party (and most importantly, a chance to meet Shawne Merriman!).

So what to do?

I think we all know the answer. Along with Bill Maher, Pauly Shore and Jon Lovitz , I’ll be watching highlights of the white-hatted ones from The Grotto, thank you very much. (Speaking of those Bulldogs’ lids, I’m not a fan. It makes the players look like U.N. weapons inspectors poking around Basra. Or those pointy-fingered, Aussie Rules Football goalpost guys.)

Now, you’ll find it an amazing coincidence that several SbB Girls over the years have been invited to parties at The Mansion. It so happens that Playboy trolls is always on the lookout for attractive young women in Los Angeles to stock special events hosted by Hef & Co., so many of the SbB Girls have been asked at random to attend parties (and the pool deck) while out at Hollywood establishments.

I’ve polled those girls who have been to the Playboy Mansion and most have said that they found the parties boring. The reason: you’ll be stunned to find out that the demographic of most such events are cute, female teenies buttressed by Bob Saget-stock male *celebrities*.

So I, camera in tow, should be in my element tonight! if I haven’t been uninvited already for this post.