TO Wants You In Shape, Wired On Energy Drinks

Sure, he might have only caught two passes in the Cowboys’ Sunday night win over the Packers, but Terrell Owens has lots of reasons to live. In fact, two new ones, as the AP reports: TO has a new fitness book out and has an endorsement deal with a new energy drink.

Terrell Owens

First the fitness book: it’s called “T.O.’s Finding Fitness,” and according to its Amazon.com page, it promises to help you “unlock your potential” and prove that “everyone is capable of finding their ideal body.” All with the help of his his T.O. Super Strong Man Bands, of course (sold separately).

I guess it’s assumed that if you buy the book, you’ll eventually be so in shape that you’ll have the confidence to do a full, grueling workout in front of a throng of media in your driveway. One piece of advice from Owens: avoid antibiotics - you never know what kind of weird reaction you might have.

As for the endorsement: it’s something called Venom Energy drink, and since it’s from the people who make Dr Pepper, I’m going to assume that it’s a super-caffienated version of prune juice. The AP story does note with some irony that it’s exactly the type of drink that T.O. rails against in his own book:

See, in his new book, “T.O.’s Finding Fitness,” Owens has a section called, “My Beverage of Choice.” It’s all about water.

“Do yourself a favor: don’t drink your calories,” he writes. “Raise a toast to a refreshing beverage that makes the most sense.”

Venom Energy has named Owens “Chief Mayhem Officer” as part of this stunt, something Donovan McNabb, Hugh Douglas, Andy Reid, Jeff Garcia and just about anyone else who has crossed his path can probably agree is fitting. I’d put even money on him doing some sort of military-themed celebration after his next touchdown. Maybe orchestrating a 21-Gun Salute?

Venom Energy: Packed Full of More Crazy Than Any Other Drink!