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REUTERS has a tale of self-loathing soccer players in South Korea, as “Ninety-two current and former South Korean soccer players have been indicted for dodging military service by intentionally dislocating their shoulders to receive medical exemptions.

South Korean Soccer fan

All South Korean men are required to undertake two years of military service. But, surprise!, accomplished athletes sometimes get exemptions.

Sadly, the afflicted pitchmen weren’t able to accrue a 15.75 ERA in one season of MLB play, so they were reduced to “swinging their arms while holding heavy weights or having fellow players jump on their shoulders” to incure injury.

If found guilty, most will likely “have to perform community service for two years, but some could be forced into the military or sent to jail.” An orthopedic surgeon who performed arthroscopic surgery on the players and issued papers with false claims may also face jail time.

Apparently South Korea requires the military service because the country is still technically at war with North Korea (which has 1.2M starving troops in its fake military).