BCS Executive Director “Baghdad Bill” Hancock is doing volunteer work for the Vancouver Olympics, and lucky for us he’s keeping a diary of his daily travails.
Yesterday Hancock was driving a bus for “speedskaters” and claims in his latest entry that this actual conversation took place:
“The rules of being a driver are simple: drive and keep quiet. I always introduce myself, ‘Hi, I’m Bill, and I’m your driver, but you already figured that out.’ Then I don’t speak unless spoken to. Nobody likes a gabby person behind the wheel.
One of the skaters asked what I was doing here. ‘Oh, I work in college football.’ Two of them: ‘Like what?’
Me: ‘Oh, I work with the bowl games.’
Them: ‘Cool! Like how?’ Me: ‘Oh, I work with an event that’s called the BCS.’
Them: ‘The BCS! Wow, that’s awesome! What do you do?’
Me, after thinking about it for a long time: ‘Oh, I’m the executive director.’
Them: ‘Hey, we’re pretty cool! The executive director of the BCS is driving us around!’ (I enjoy people who talk in exclamation points!)
Me: (silence).
Them: ‘So, Mr. Executive Director, when are we going to have a playoff?’
Me: ‘Not in my lifetime, probably.’
Them: ‘Great! I don’t want a playoff.’
Them: ‘I went to the Rose Bowl this year. It was SO cool.’ And they kept talking, which allowed me to revert to the comfortable role of quiet driver.
Hancock’s diary entries are being published by Berry Tramel of the DAILY OKLAHOMAN, which obviously isn’t lost on the author. (Not a knock on Tramel, makes for interesting fodder.)
The supposed conversation took place as part of Hancock’s second diary entry for The Oklahoman, with the first not mentioning the BCS. Only a matter of time before Hancock used his “diary” as a platform to propagandize.
So how do I know that Hancock made up part of that conversation? I don’t, but the last two alleged responses of the “speedskaters” made me laugh harder than a Deadliest Catch Captain’s arteries. Let’s relive that glorious moment, shall we?:
Them: ‘So, Mr. Executive Director, when are we going to have a playoff?’
Me: ‘Not in my lifetime, probably.’
Them: ‘Great! I don’t want a playoff.’
Them: ‘I went to the Rose Bowl this year. It was SO cool.’ And they kept talking, which allowed me to revert to the comfortable role of quiet driver.
Let’s repeat that one more time: “Great! I don’t want a playoff.”
Let that sink in.
At first, maybe I was a little hard on Hancock for his Opposite Day p.r. approach. Now, the gloves come off.
1:42 pm on February 10th, 2010
Interesting since the US Speed Skating Championships were Dec. 26-30 and the Rose Bowl was on Jan. 1. So a bunch of speed skaters hurried directly from their national championships to the Rose Bowl the next day? Not impossible but highly unlikely.
1:46 pm on February 10th, 2010
No speed skating dork in america could tell you who was in the rose bowl. It is good to know that speed skaters don’t want a playoff though.
that’s the demo that counts.
2:06 pm on February 10th, 2010
quick look at the US team roster doesn’t reveal a single speed skater from Ohio or Oregon. Again, could have gone to Rose Bowl out of interest alone but unlikely
9:02 am on February 11th, 2010
The gloves come off? Oooo. What are you going to do, blog about it?
Sadly, this isn’t the only country where anyone who disagrees with you is automatically a liar. You may not like his opinions, but let’s try some real reporting before we pull out the liar-liar-pants-on-fire routine. Why not at least follow up with Tramel about the character of the person you’re writing about? Bill Hancock is an incredibly humble and honest person. Sports Illustrated, CBS Sports, FOX Sports, ABC Sports, USA Today, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, almost every Division I athletic director, almost every Division I football coach and almost every Division I basketball coach say he’s the most sincere, humble and honest guy in college athletics. Slam the fact that there’s no playoff. Slam the fact that no one is as smart as you. Slam the fact that water flows downhill if that’s going to sell ad space, but please, oh, please don’t take off your gloves. If you take the gloves off, you’ll have cold hands, and that will just ruin our day.
2:54 pm on February 11th, 2010
Why do you assume the skaters were from the U.S. Team? Might be from another country, training for the olympics and went to the Rose Bowl.
10:42 am on February 12th, 2010
So foreign speedskaters loved the Rose Bowl and know enough about US college athletics to feel comfortable conversating about why a playoff system is inferior? How many people in the world fit that description, 2, 3? It’s either B.S. or irrelevant. I don’t even know who wa sin the Rose Bowl this year.
2:31 am on February 13th, 2010
Why would someone ask when we’re going to get a playoff and then say great when theyre told theyre not.
When have you ever heard someone ask a question like that and then be happy theyre told no. It would be like this conversation…
Question: “When are you going to start using softer toilet paper?
Answer: Never
Reply: Great, I like having my ass on fire.
I call BS too!