Recently, locker rooms across baseball and football have struggled with MRSA outbreaks similar to those in hospitals and elder care centers, requiring the affected areas to be sanitized multiple times to remove the Staphylococcus.

(Not pictured: the victim)

The Detroit Tigers should consider bringing in similar sanitation experts to work their magic on all rooms that their players use regularly both in Lakeland, FL, and Detroit. That might be the only way to eradicate whatever viral agent infects their relief pitchers and encourages ridiculously stupid and short-sighted decisions like trying to punch a door with the pitching hand.

Jordan Tata has become the latest to come down with the disorder that overcame Joel Zumaya in 2006 in the form of Guitar Hero addiction and manifested itself again in 2007 with a ruptured tendon in his finger caused by wiggling his hand too fiercely.

The most recent manifestation with Zumaya came last winter when he did not pay proper attention to the Tigers’ latest pamphlet, “Avoid Being Crushed by Large Falling Objects“. This must have been disheartening for Tigers trainers and doctors that thought they had worked out the ‘Duh’ virus (working name) from his system.

Unfortunately, they will have to scrub down all the bullpens again as Tata unleashed his frustrations from his miserable spring attempts to make the big league club (7 runs in 2.2 innings) on a rather solid object instead of the Tigers’ current soft punching bag this spring: Brandon Inge.

This might be the best explanation why the decidedly mediocre Todd Jones continues to hold the closer job in Detroit: his veteran savvy tells him to wash his hands often, eat right, and don’t hurt the pitching hand through dumbassery.