This Car Is Serious Horsey Racing Business, Folks

Look, we can all agree that horse safety is a big deal, and surely anybody who isn’t a sick bastard/future serial killer wants to see issues like the Barbaro situation or the Eight Belles on-track euthanization fiasco. Thus, then, all steps forward in terms of monitoring training are good things, yes? Yes.

(Oh my God, they turned a horse into Darth Vader’s head.)

So while we laugh (oh, how we laugh) at the above picture, rest assured that we only laugh because we care here, as this monstrosity is actually designed to help horse owners train their horses without overexerting them and leaving them at greater risk of injury. This is a positive development, and now here is where we indulge our childish sense of humor, start referring to horses as “horseys,” and show you what else this all looks like to us.

First, a little more information (because you deserve it, really) about the Kurtsystems device, via POPSCI.COM:

A horse trots along a dirt road in Turkey, encased by the Kurtsystems Car equine training system. What may look like a complex horse-drawn carriage is actually a high-tech way to automate the delicate process of training racehorses.

The horse isn’t pulling the four-and-a-half-ton, $427,000 vehicle. Rather, the vehicle keeps pace with the animal, and trainers fit the horse with equipment such as an electrocardiogram machine, oxygen masks and movement sensors to monitor its performance. They can then subtly regulate the horse’s speed for optimal training.

Neato, gang! This is going to save the horsey’s life, and not at all wreck its self-esteem by making it look like the following.

Horsey Batmobile
Old-time Bathorseymobile

Horsey Eggplant
Eggplant Horsey

David Wright With a Horse in His Forehead
David Wright Concussion Spaceship Helmet Horsey

You can also see more (unaltered, so less fun) pictures of the contraption here from Kurtsystems themselves. It will probably save horses’ lives, plus also remind us of, shall we say, a PT Cruiser with only 1 horsepower. Or in other words… a regular PT Cruiser (aw snap, car insults).